ARMAN'S DIMENSION

SECRET PAGE: PEANUT NOODLE RECIPE

WHAT'S THIS?

i decided to add some mystery to this site. if you're here, congratulations. please accept my recipe for peanut noodles as a prize.

WHAT YOU NEED

i know not everybody has a well equipped kitchen so i'll try to keep this simple.
required ingredients: plain ramen noodles, peanut butter, water
ingredients you can get away without but shouldn't if you can afford to: soy sauce
optional ingredients: onion, green onion, cilantro, spinach, broccoli, tofu, crushed peanut, sriracha, oil
required equipment: bowl, spoon, something that can heat up water to boiling, fork or chopsticks
optional equipment: stove, pan, strainer, knife/cutting board

WHAT TO DO

first, you start cooking ramen the way you usually would. microwave, kettle, stovetop, volcanic pools, i don't care, just cook em good. once it's done drain most of the water, but leave a tiny bit in there cuz we'll need it. it's ideal to use a strainer for draining but if you don't have one or just don't want to do the dishes, keep tipping the container over the sink while holding the noodles back with a fork or chopsticks.

second, get a big fucking spoon of peanut butter. you don't wanna skimp out here, this is your sauce base and you better commit to it. smooth or chunky does not matter btw it's down to preference. i have enjoyed this recipe with both kinds, for the record. anyways, get a spoon of peanut butter and mix it into your noodles. at this point, you'll want to add soy sauce if available/not allergic, and sriracha, if you desire. don't go too heavy on the soy sauce. one or two packets should be enough, it's unpleasant if it's too salty.

next, you'll want to add any veggies you might have. green onion and cilantro should be cut fine, onion and tofu should be cut long, spinach doesn't need to be cut because it shrinks like george costanza in a pool, and how you cut broccoli is down to taste. if you don't have a knife or cutting board, (cleaned) scissors or just ripping stuff apart should do the trick. if you have access to a stovetop, pan, and oil, fry your onions and tofu first, then add them. or don't i'm not a cop. mix in the vegetables as best you can.

finally, you can get your noodle mixture in your bowl, pour some crushed peanut if you have it, grab your fork or chopsticks and dig in.

SUBSTITUTIONS

an update to this page: i found out i actually have a number of allergies to some of the ingredients i listed, mostly minor ones so i don't go into shock, just get a stomachache. so here are a list of substitutes for some ingredients if you have more severe allergies. these substitutes are typically pricier like most allergen substitutes, since they are marketed mostly to yuppies.

★ ramen noodles usually are made with wheat, but rice ramen is also available. you can also substitute with other types of noodles, but it's not quite the same.
★ peanut butter is hard to replicate, especially for the specific quality that it lends this dish. cashew butter is the closest i've found.
★ soy sauce can have two potential allergens: the soy of course, but also wheat. you can use tamari which has soy but usually no wheat, or if you can't have soy, coconut aminos, which is harder to find and a bit sweeter, so add some salt.
★ not a whole lot of options for the vegetables. just avoid what you have to. experiment with vegetables i haven't.
★ tofu is a tough one. i've heard they make chickpea tofu but have not been able to find it and try it; paneer is more readily available but obviously is dairy. scrambled eggs can work if you fluff them right.